I want to support my wife

[Andrew]

Hi fellows,

I'm desperately asking for your advice. My wife just had a baby about a month ago. At the beginning everything seemed to be just perfect. For sure she and I were tired but we were full of love.
Suddenly her constitution seemed to change slowly. At first I didn't realise and thought she was just tired, but now I have the feeling that at the moment every little thing is already too much for her. I want to support her but she isn't very willing to let me.
I did some research and did find out about depression after having a baby. I'm scared that she is depressive and doesn't see it. I'm scared of talking to her about it. Also she is getting even more tired with waking up every 1-2 hours each night. Maybe she just needs a good nights sleep but how could I possibly help her. 

Andrew

[troian]

Hello Andrew,

what you are writing and intending to do is very commendable! It is true mothers can fall in a state of depression after giving birth and it is hard. It is not easy to cope with this. But your wife can be so happy that she has you! Taking on help isn't easy for her at the moment, but you should do it anyways. When you take away some of her burden it might get easier for her to enjoy this beautiful time. It would be great if you could talk about your feelings and your insight on her constitution if she let's you. You can take over work in the household as well as you can support her feeding the baby. I'm not sure but she might be willing to bump breast milk so you can feed the baby during the night or even just use some formula. This would be one suggestion so she could get a good's night sleep.
There are also support groups which might be good for her to go to if she can. She could get in exchange with other mothers who are suffering from similar problems!
Troian

[Andrew]

Hi Troian,

thank you for responding and taking time to answer!
I already tried to talk to her, but she was blocking and just leaving. She doesn't like to use a breast milk bump - she already told me. However when we talked about formula she was not that disinclined. Might give that a try.
I wish she would go to a group like this, also to get out of the house and meet other people...
Andrew

[troian]

yes, this is a huge step for her!
Maybe she has friends who want to stop by and go for a walk with her and talk. You could also invite a friend of her. This can work out or not, but social contacts are very important and maybe talking to someone else then you too - sorry nothing against you - but sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who is not that involved.
When you are looking for formula you should have a look at myorganicformula.com/, there you'll find several organic formulas what might help to start formula feeding as they are healthy and have a very good quality.
Don't want everything to change at once, I hope that she will be fine very soon but step by step!
Troian

[Andrew]

you are so right! Thank you Troian - talking to you brought back some hope.
Andrew

[troian]

see talking to someone else helps!
Good luck for everything!
Troian